In the wake of the Big Brother racism row, distressed viewers are returning to a sense of normality and to discussing topics more typical of a reality TV show.

For the past week however the most distressed of viewers have been on the receiving end of the following arguments, surprised by the opinions of colleagues and co-workers, alarmed by their naiveté.

I do hope that these do not represent the views of most British people, but these are some of the arguments I actually heard last week.

  • “I’m sick of white people being sidelined.”

    Yeah, I suppose Black History Month is a bit much, isn’t it? Really cuts into White History Year.

  • “It’s political correctness gone mad.”

    I’m sorry, do you long for the time when we could tell one another to “f*** off back home”?

  • “Oh, but it’s okay for Jermaine to call Jackie ‘white trash’?”

    No, Jermaine is not granted some sort of immunity from being racist on account of his being black. What he actually said was, “…they brought up the word ‘white trash’, and I don’t want to bring that up. I wouldn’t call her that, because she’s a human being…”

  • “But Jade can’t be racist. She’s mixed race.”

    There’s nothing in Jade’s genetic make-up that excludes her from being racist. After all, I’m 100% me, and I hate myself a little bit.

  • “I’m sick of people playing the race card.”

    FYI: we don’t like to, us darkies. If we gave you one you’d realise it’s not that good a thing to have.