Ah, first dates. The nerves, the sweaty palms, the possibility that they’ll actually show up. Today was mine with an online match, or so it should have been. Instead I was left nervous, sweaty and alone.

And a little bit confused. It was as whirlwind as an online romance could be. On Wednesday she ‘winked’, by Thursday we had exchanged e-mails, on Friday we were making plans to meet. It was like a Craig David song.

In fact, I thought she was very keen, having suggested that we meet up today. She even suggested that we do so at a time and a place convenient to me. Instead, I arranged to have coffee in a trendy, Birmingham bar, about an hour from home. It might have not been convenient but it was at least in her home town.

Sitting at the bar I wondered when ‘fashionably late’ became ‘you’ve been stood up, mate.’ But considering she hadn’t far to travel, and that she was so keen to meet in the first place, I figured circumstance had prevented her from coming. Perhaps a family crisis, an accident, last minute nerves even. Maybe she died.

It took a real friend however to suggest that perhaps she had seen me and decided to leave. I still think that she’s dead.